More music.

Surfing on myspace, I just discovered Obadiah Parker in the last 20 minutes. It sort of brings me back to wanting to listen to Red House Painter's "Songs for a Blue Guitar." Just more music that is good to listen to when drawing or painting. Sort of has me reminiscing about Mkl and Paul; how influential they are to me when it comes to sound, music, and art.

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Reflecting back on having some beer with J on Tuesday night. It felt good talking about what motivates us to create. That being, it feels so much better creating when the piece is for someone and it has meaning because of that. That is my major reason of creating the things I do and it's hard for me to make something if it is not personal and without real meaning. Also conversations about sketchbooks and other art stuff where by the end of the night he just wanted to go home and read and I wanted to go home and draw. That is always a wonderful way to end a perfect night with a good friend.

www.drawanyway.com

Draw anyway...

Self Teaching Notes, Part Four

• Re-read Madeleine L'Engle's "Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith and Art."
• Throwing back some beers with kindred spirit/like-minded artistic friend always reignites the need to create more.
• Drawing with black india ink and using white acyclic paint instead of white out gives a nice washed out painterly feel.

Penelope Dullaghan's "Set Sail," "Slow Down," "May It's"

set sail:
"I am procrastinating right now. Very much so. The truth is that I am scared. I’m scared of this new thing I’ve been asked to do… it’s uncharted territory for me and I feel butterflies in my stomach when I think about it…"

slow down:
"It’s like a freight train barreling down the tracks full speed. Working and doing this much all the time. I feel sometimes like I’m addicted to this fast pace… hurling my energy forward constantly. Living on momentum and adrenaline, and hardly ever stopping to just breathe and be..."

maybe it's:
"Maybe it’s a little bit of just not being mindful enough as I move through the day… I do work too much and too fast, sure, but I really do love my work. I love being creative and painting and all that good stuff..."

Focusing

Work on ideas. Step by step. Concentrate. Focus. You will eventually get there. Small things one at a time. Discipline. Projects will eventually be finished... if you Just. Keep. Going.

Books

• Robert Henri's "The Art Spirit"


• Elaine Scarry's "On Beauty and Being Just"


• anything by Leonard Cohen


• anything by Simone Weil

Nothing grows...

...without being nurtured, cared, and attended to.

Caffiene

I love the Coca-Cola buzz, the Monster Energy Drink buzz, sometimes that coffee buzz, particularly Starbucks or Dunkin' Donuts. (I like how when you ask for cream and sugar, the employees at Dunkin' Donuts give you a mystery concoction that is filled with nothing but cheap sweetness.) But then I realize overall how it makes my body more tired then when I was before I started consuming my caffeinated beverage. I would love to stop tiring myself out and learn to not be so caffeine dependant. Green tea makes things well.

Overanalyzing yourself...

...could potentially make you stop living and doing.

The need to keep creating, being... learning, growing as a human being. The ability to make mistakes, but not hating yourself for it. Experiencing.

Jandra

Getting exercise helps out my productivity a lot.

Having Jandra as a waterobics instructors is a tremendous asset to my energy and strength while living with an autoimmune disease. She is a great waterobics instructor. Sometimes her sessions end with Stevie Wonder, Guns N Roses, or the Cure. She will play a re-mix of Prince's "Kiss," with disco hit "Funky Town." She will play Lily Allen's "Smile." You can tell she wants to be there and she loves her job and wants you to enjoy your workout. She totally gets into it. You can see everyone in the swimming pool smiling and being into it. I love the Galter Life Center.

Documenting Ideas

I tend to lose ideas fast when I get them, thinking I can keep a mental note and will remember to write and/or sketch the idea down later.

I need to write these ideas as soon as the idea sparks in my head. Sketch it. Draw it. Take a picture of it. Capture it.

Self Teaching Notes, Part Three

I hope to learn from the past and not procrastinate with working on projects. I've been operating like this since high school: spending a lot of time thinking about a project then pulling all-nighters; cramming artwork out beautifully the very last minute.

I am slowly, successfully, leaving my ways of pulling all-nighters... but I don't know what it is about me where I feel that I do my best working on things the very last minute. It's the pressure, the buzz. Finally the finished product is made. When I am done, I am done.

I am getting out of this mode of working, knowing that this way of operating is unhealthy and a very bad habit. I know that artists and other creative people do this. But it works. BUT I don't like working like this because it is too stressful. It is very unprofessional and I fear you can tell when the artwork has been hurried and rushed during the creating process and is sloppy. "That piece" could have been a million times better if I didn't procrastinate on it the beginning and worked on it every morning with a clear mind, fresh attitude, and well-rested body. As time goes by, I try to work on my projects by better time management, pacing one's self, getting rest; being disciplined. There is also the problem of me being sick all of the time from the lupus... but that is another story. It is hard to also include that with your managing your time. You always have to leave room on the schedule to know that there will be a couple of times you will be sick and too tired. How do I deal with this and keep it up with my health? The only thing I find promising is to keep in mind that you have a sick body, you can't do it all, but keep hope to try to manage your health wisely.

Thus, keep going to the Galter Life Center. Build endurance. Get real energy.

Discipline self.

Have fun doing so. Be hopeful.

Re-train body and mind to operate in a more healthy manner.

Self Teaching Notes, Part Two

I bookmark a lot of links that inspire me and articles that I would plan to one day go back and read. So much intake everything becomes desensitizing; sensory overload. I am learning to try to limit my time being on the internet. I am constantly checking e-mail, myspace messages, comments, updated blogs. Maybe this will all end when my new job begins.

When I do try to limit my internet use. It makes me appreciate more of what I see and read.

I tend to get overwhelmed and start to feel less by what I am experiencing so much that I don't appreciate it as much when I am constantly on-line. When I do limit myself, I find things more refreshing and able to enjoy it more.

This is sort of like when I start watching t.v., as I don't watch t.v. very often, or how I enjoy sushi more after not having eaten it for a long time. Anything that is absent in your life, you enjoy more in your presence when it comes back. Like cheap Budacki's hot dogs and french fries after not buying these greasy foods for almost a year, rather than having this meal every day. I digress. I digress with food talk. Always.

I am seeking the difference between finding inspiration from the internet and spending too much time consuming what is being fed to me visually, sonically, etc. VERSUS being productive and creating. Or at least seeking a happy balance between the two. I don't know how to turn off my computer and keep it turned off.

Draw Anyway's "Overcoming the Fear of the Blank Sketchbook"

Overcoming the Fear of the Blank Sketchbook:
"One of the reasons I set up Drawanyway was because I felt I was never drawing any more. Well, I’m glad to note that I have nearly used up the old, half-full sketchbook that I grabbed when I needed to start producing..."

Good To Listen To While Being In Productive Mode

• music tracks on michelle l'amour's pow radio

• elephant micah

• anything bluesanct, drekka, static films, justin vollmar

• mix cds

• a. snow's mix cds

• songs:ohia/magnolia electric co.

• andrew bird
  

Self Teaching Notes, Part One

• I need to remember to be thankful for what I do already have and what has been given to me.


• I find that being too judgemental about everything I end up killing myself and my soul. Try to see the good in people, the common human faults, flaws. Most times you can find a way to sympathize and relate.


• Find ways to learn from each situation.


• Read old journals.


• Surround self with creative people, writers, artists, comics, filmmakers, etc.


• When working on a project, plan to add one more week to work on the project before the planned deadline.
  

• I need to put a stop on my caffeine dependency. Although black tea with milk and turbinado sugar always starts me off nicely; Caffeine is also nice when on the home stretch. God, I need to stop, but it's so hard not to and the buzz feels so good.

• I am trying not to dwell in hatred so much. I find it hard not to, but there is already a lot of that in this world. I have a lot to complain about and a lot of things and situations and people I want to make fun of. So many lame, petty, stupid things. It's really not good to feed my soul on hating things and people--unless you are Potrafka--but even then, I have witnessed him in awe of birds and dogs.

• I should never feel bad about not keeping up with writing or blogging. First and foremost, I need to keep in mind to write for myself.

• I need to exercise and build endurance in order to keep going. I need my body to be fully rested. I hope to one day find the perfect balance.
  

• I love watching children and observing how easily they approach things. I love how easily amused they are. They are fearless and eager. James once told me of how he was once with his son at IKEA--or was it Target? I can't remember now--but his son wanted so badly to ride on the shopping cart while going down one of those escalator things for the carts. James of course said no, but had to hand it his son for being so adventurous. So courageous.